Once upon a time, I believe, is how most stories begin… At least, that’s what I think. The words chosen may themselves be different, but wasn’t everything Once upon a time?
Once upon a time I was born to write. I feel writing is my gift from God and I’ve been sitting on this gift for way too long. I’ve written some of my ideas down and started dozens of stories ranging from the topics of okra to being a dad to one day sitting down and actually writing to God knows where my mind takes me wherever it goes. Why has it taken this long for me to begin? I’m going to say it’s because everything happens in God’s timing. Yep…..let’s go with that.
The truth is I’ve been lazy at times. Other reasons (excuses) I sometimes use; I’m too busy, nobody wants to hear what I have to say, It’s too hot/cold/light/dark (starting to
sound like Goldilocks here), I’m too sober, too drunk, etc. but usually it’s from just being busy with my busyness so I can avoid saying the words I need to say and what I hope may be the words others need to hear so they know they’re not alone. Another reason I’ve used to avoid writing is once I write what I think is something good, I’ll set it aside for a few days and when I come back to it, it resembles –to me anyway–me vomiting on paper. I try to write with all the openness and honesty I’m capable of…I think I’m opening a vein and pouring out my heart and soul and a week later it reeks of last week’s garbage.
Anyway, aren’t we our own worst critics sometimes, all the time?? One last and most important thing that prevents me from opening a vein and sharing my soul is normally the BIGGEST thing for all of us…fear. Fear keeps us from most everything we’re really looking for; success, happiness, love. I’m not afraid of failing or failure. I do that all the time and I get up, brush it off and stumble and survive the best I know how until I do it again….it’s kinda like shampoo. Lather, rinse, repeat.
The truth is we don’t really know what to do with these things…..at least, I don’t. And that’s why I shall write. Maybe by grace, through opening a vein or two and getting some things out of the way, I will somehow become open to accepting some new and beautiful things in their place.